I accidentally burped into my bong.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
