How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
