What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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