Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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