So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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