was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
