We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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