I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
