My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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