This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
is that a dick in a sweater?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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