Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
