Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
