just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
