weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
