At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
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It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
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Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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