Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
