So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Randomize