you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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