i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
