"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You are a genius and a whore.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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