I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
