Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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