maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize