Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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