Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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