is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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