why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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