you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
