My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
