I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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