whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
