And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
