Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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