everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
