I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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