he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
