I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize