To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
