we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
