it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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