oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
