Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize