How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
