My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
