You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
