No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
