do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
