It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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