He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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