I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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