No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
