i permit you to call me
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
