apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
