All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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