I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
