Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
